Everybody needs help because there are so many things that the beautiful clothing, beautiful faces of women seem to hide, and that is why we need to go behind closed doors. Going behind closed doors is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing quite upsetting that creates greater loneliness than a fading marriage. After salvation, your marriage comes next. For those who are not yet married, it would be better that you learn the rudiments of marriage. 

What Exactly Is Love?

The African concept of love may be a little bit wrong and weird. It is no wonder that there are problems in marriage or people choose wrongly. If you are really in love or you are falling in love, and you are not choosing a spouse based on age, circumstances or what they have to offer; you will meet someone and there will be a strong attraction or connection. I tell the young ladies to find love a little bit early so that the feeling can be enjoyed. As a single lady, let the man love you as much as you love him or even maybe more; let him never want to be away from you. Let the intensity of the love you dish out be reciprocated. 

Adam was first created, then Eve. In Adam was the fullness of God made in Man. Adam was the embodiment of what God is, and God is love. The Bible says that Adam was made in the image of God. God is nothing else but love. God so loved Adam that He looked at the vast creation and made Adam in charge of all that He created. God also created someone to help Adam; He created Woman. The Woman is a help-meet and She will always shout "Help", because she will always need Adam, permission and God. No matter how much Women try, earn or seem to be enjoying life, the Woman needs to be loved, spoken to tenderly, and held.

Who wants to be loved? Everyone wants to be loved. Love is a feeling and when it is fading, a Woman would know. Suddenly, She becomes harsh and talks anyhow because the tenderness She used to experience has faded. For every single Woman, it is better you find love. It is not alright for You to marry for money. Someone would ask, Do you honestly believe in love? I honestly do. I believe in love for every of God's creation. I believe in the romantic love, marital love, and the Agape love that sustains marriage. The Agape love is the kind of love that will work through marriage. It is the kind of love that stays until Christ shall come. However, if there is no Romantic Love, one becomes sad, frustrated, nasty, depressed, lonely etc. So in a marriage relationship, You need both the Romantic and Agape Love. 

For the married, marriage is a tedious and long journey, but it really should not be so. There is a cry in the heart of some that seeks for help even after a couple of years of marriage. Marriage for some needs to be re-acted all over again. Woman was made for the Man likewise the Man for the Woman too; it is suffice to say both the Man and Woman are indispensable to one another but God gave the Man certain roles of a being protector, provider, etc. If all of these roles fall into place, there won't be any problem. Likewise, if the Woman is a help-meet, there won't be any problem, as She would easily submit to a Man who is a provider, a Man who is loving and kind, a Man who will Her defend with all that he has. It is not about money, it is about deep human needs. 

Looking at a few areas of marriage, there are some who say, "I am married, but I can't stand that Man, I want to get out of the marriage." Some are saying, "I never loved Him in the first place and I am finding it harder to be with him." If You are in any of these categories, You need to remember that You made a choice. The marriage vow cannot be easily broken, and if You break it, You break it to your own detriment.

Some Women cannot share their feelings, thoughts, secrets, desires, money in their marriage. For example, some Women don't joke with money, they pretend they are giving but they are actually receiving more. Some married Women are thinking of quitting, as they feel lonely in their marriage, there are differences in their sexual lives, and there is infidelity. It is not only the Man who is unfaithful, some Women are. In present day world, a lot married Women tend to be unfaithful? Why? Some Women are becoming unfaithful because they don't want to get hurt. Some Women feel since the man goes out with other Women and doesn't seem to care, they wonder why they should care; and hence, they end up listening to ungodly counsel. Some Women cry daily; are ashamed, sad, hurting and can't even feel or see any sign of love, as the Husband goes out very early and comes in very late. Is this a marriage? 

A lot happens behind closed doors but it is not everything that happens behind closed doors that is negative. One of the negative things that happens behind closed doors is domestic violence. A lot of Women that are battered and abused would go behind closed doors. They refuse to talk about it or tell anyone simply because nobody cares. Some Women going through this would live through domestic violence until they are battered and beaten to death. When a Woman complains about being battered, the first thing she would be told is, "Submit to your Husband." Some would be judged and asked what they did wrong to warrant the battering. The Woman might have done something wrong, but does She have to be beaten and killed? Also, most times She has not done anything wrong.

In addition, a lot of Women go behind closed doors because of the shame and stigma of adultery. Adultery affects everyone in the home. Some feel there is no big deal in adultery, as an African marriage by nature is polygamous. However, Christianity has taught us one man, one Wife. Polygamy also shares affection. If a man is in a polygamous marriage and he doesn't love his Wives, they can decide to come after Him at anytime and get hold of Him. Solomon had seven hundred Wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines (1 Kings 11:3), and he said "Vanity upon vanity, all is vanity."

A lot of Women are behind closed doors in shame and they emerge portray to others a sensational life of loving. Do You know that the pain of coming out of that door is more than the pain of being behind the door? When You come out of the shame, You have to wear a mask, put on a whole armour, and pretend to the world that everything is alright. But it is not just alright because you are dying inside. Behind closed doors, you have Women who cannot, will not, do not, or refuse to have sex with their Husbands. Their emotions are so tilted up that they don't know if sex is love or if sex is good. Sex for a Woman, they say, is an expression of love, but sex for a Man is just a desire. Behind closed doors, some Women are battling with challenging Children and there is no spouse or any Man to attend to it, so they shut the door. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9 says that "Two are better than one." 

Sometimes, that closed door is really an opportunity for Jesus Christ to come in. It is not behind every shut door that you see pain. In the Book of Acts of the Apostles, Paul was going on a missionary journey and the LORD told him he should not go to the places he wanted to go to, but that He would send him to Macedonia to wins souls for the LORD. Paul got to Macedonia and as soon as He got there, He won the first convert. After winning the first convert, Paul was locked behind closed doors. Suddenly, God sent an angel to break the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder (Acts 12:1-25, Psalm 107:16). The LORD is saying to a Woman today, the gate that has held You bound is broken, the chains that are holding You down is broken; the gates of unforgiveness, shame, rivalry, jealousy and envy in Your life is broken in Jesus Mighty Name.

The LORD God Who does wonders broke the gates of brass, behind closed doors. Behind closed doors in Acts 12:1-25, the foundations of prisons were shaken and Paul was set free. When Paul was set free, He did not leave immediately. Instead, He still remained behind closed doors, because He experienced an unimaginable presence of the Almighty God. Paul stayed behind closed doors as many Women who are in shame and pain are staying, waiting for the magistrate to release them. The Man who has caused You shame and made You to be behind closed doors will come and get You in Jesus Mighty Name. He will come, He will need you, He will love You, and He will never again hurt or leave You in the Mighty name of Jesus.

On the third day behind closed doors, Jesus arose from the grave (Luke 24:5-7). Where was the LORD, Jesus Christ? He was behind closed doors. It was at that time that He arose, that God received of Him the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. The stone blocking the tomb was rolled away. The tomb was behind closed doors. The miracle behind closed doors. Today, the pain and shame You are experiencing will be rolled away from Your life in Jesus Name. God is going through your closed doors and He will do much better things for You in the Name of Jesus. I pray that every closed door will bring about deliverance, and there will be no more stigmatisation. How long you have been behind closed doors doesn't matter. What matters is that the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? He is the LORD, strong and mighty; the LORD, mighty in battle. Lift up your head and let the King of glory come in. Jeremiah 32:27 says "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?" Psalm 139:7 says "Where can I hide from Your presence...?" Can You really hide behind closed doors? How long can You hide behind closed doors? The door would have to burst open. The door would have to accommodate the LORD, Jesus Christ as Saviour.

Behind Closed Doors is where the POWER lies , where the Almighty God will visit You as You worship and You pray seeking HIM concerning Your life as God never fails and nothing is too difficult for HIM Jer:32:17. 

Ladies, see You at the next "BEHIND CLOSED DOORS" Coming up soon.



 Pastor Siju Iluyomade.